Last Christmas I was invited to Hillcrest Grammar School to give a reading to the reception class, Mrs Griffiths who was their teacher at the time had read her grandson's copy of the HPM - and loved it. The kids were brilliant and a couple had even bought in their copies for me to sign. As a special treat, Mrs Griffiths asked if I would write a little Christmas poem, and so I did.
The Hairy Plug Monster has Christmas Dinner
As she stood by the tree, Maya’s eyes opened wide,
There were stars hung all over with chocolates inside,
Tinsel and baubles, with lights wrapped around,
And even more presents that lay on the ground.
On the shelf by the fire -Dad placed a mince pie -
With a nice juicy carrot, so Maya asked “why”?
“You need to leave food for the reindeer”, dad said,
“And Father Christmas wants mince pies, to keep himself fed.
Climbing up and down chimneys, All night isn’t fun,
And he can’t take a break ,when there’s work to be done,
Perhaps you can help?”,dad said with a laugh
“With the Hairy Plug Monster ,Who lives under the bath”
Maya thought for a while
And she smiled and then said -
“Maybe I could…”
And then went off to bed.
A few hours later,
Maya hadn’t slept,
So into the bathroom,
She silently crept.
The Hairy Plug Monster,
Was sat by the soap,
With a floppy red stocking,
All tied up with rope.
Maya asked once again -
“Do you fancy a feed? ”
And the Hairy Plug Monster,
Smiled and agreed.
“We’ve got Mince Pies and chocolates
and a huge Christmas Cake.
There’s even a turkey,
All ready to bake”.
So they tiptoed downstairs,
and walked through the hall,
straight to the kitchen,
to the fridge by the wall.
Maya opened the door,
and they both peeked inside,
And the Hairy Plug Monster’s
One Eye opened wide.
There on the shelf was a large plate of jelly,
A trifle,
and pudding
and cheese that was smelly.
There was mince pies and chocolates,
And cranberry jam,
Sprouts and Potatoes,
And a big piece of ham.
The Hairy Plug Monster,
Jumped onto the shelf,
And in no time at all -
He was helping himself.
Maya said to her friend,
“That’s all we’ve got,
Its Christmas tomorrow,
And you cant eat the lot”.
But the Hairy Plug Monster,
Didn’t reply, he was already munching,
On a tasty mince pie.
He tried out the pudding, and some of the cake.
And then all the sprouts,……….
Yuk…!!!!!!!
What a mistake.
Yuk –yuk yuk yuk
What a funny old taste.
He didn’t like sprouts,
And curled up his face.
The hairy plug monster,
Was hungry no more,
And sat down and sulked,
On the cold kitchen floor.
Maya thought and then said,
“I know just what to do,
Father Christmas is coming,
He’ll be here very soon”.
They went to the front room,
And both peeked inside,
And The Hairy Plug Monster’s one eye,
Opened Wide.
There by the fire was a man dressed in red,
With a big floppy hat,
That was hung from his head.
His belt and his boots were shiny and black,
And down by his side was a huge great big sack.
“Hello Father Christmas”,
said Maya with charm,
And she held out a mince pie
at the end of her arm.
“I’ve come here to help
and make sure that you’re fed
You can sit down and rest while - everyone’s in bed.”
Father Christmas sat down, with the pie on his knee,
While Maya placed presents around the big tree.
“Thank you” said Santa, and started to yawn,
“It’s time that I went, for soon it is dawn”
Father Christmas got back, on his magical sleigh
Gave a carrot to Rudolph, and then flew away.
The Hairy Plug Monster needed a nap,
so he crept back upstairs
And squeezed back through the tap.
His stocking was full of presents and toys,
And a small yellow duck - that made a strange noise.
“What’s that noise?”, said her dad the next day with a shout
“There’s a noise from the hole where the water runs out”
“You know who that is” Maya said with a laugh
“That’s the Hairy plug Monster…..who lives under the bath”.
